


Of Candy Canes and Cake

by Caro_the_Poet



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Shipmas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28149162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caro_the_Poet/pseuds/Caro_the_Poet
Summary: In which the team babysits Cassie’s daughter and shenanigans ensue.Prompt: “How many candy canes did you eat?”
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 7
Kudos: 33





	Of Candy Canes and Cake

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on my headcanon that once Jack and Sam are together and insubordination isn’t a thing to worry about, Sam fully unleashes her snark on Jack and puts up with exactly none of his shit. And he LOVES it.

_Colorado Springs, 2017_   
_The week before Christmas_

“ _Exactly_ how many candy canes did you eat?!”

Sam crosses her arms over her chest and arranges her face into what she hopes is a convincing frown at the pathetic figure hunched over the toilet.

“Not the point.” His voice echoes hollowly against the porcelain and Sam bites the inside of her mouth. It is _not_ the time to dissolve into a fit of laughter, no matter how much she wants to.

“It absolutely _is_ the point!” she counters once she trusts herself to speak. “How many candy canes did _she_ eat?” Sam gestures to the small girl standing by her side, who is watching Jack with solemn, unrepentant eyes.

“More than _I_ did!” Jack lifts his head just enough so that his eyes are visible, and he glares balefully at both of them. “Kid has a stomach of steel.”

Sam takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. Jack takes a deep breath and tries to smother a dry heave.

“So you’re telling me that she ate _more than half_ of the three— _three_ —boxes that I bought this afternoon? Because right now they are all empty on the living room floor.”

“Math always _was_ your strong point, wasn’t it, Carter?”

Oh, so _that’s_ how he’s going to play it. “Don’t _Carter_ me, Jonathan.”

Jack freezes for a second; then rolls his eyes. He regrets it immediately, as a wave of nausea leaves him hanging fully over the toilet again. “Oh, for the days when you used to have to call me ‘Sir,’” he laments through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, those days are _long_ gone, babe.”

They stare at each other impassively for a moment and finally Sam shakes her head in defeat. “What am I supposed to tell Cassie?”

“For crying out loud, _Samantha_ , I don’t know! Tell her that her daughter is a certifiable menace who tricked me into eating twenty-five candy canes!” He sounds so miserable that she almost feels sorry for him.

Almost.

She presses her lips together and looks at the floor. The absurdity of this situation doesn’t bear thinking about. And how a highly decorated former Air Force general can routinely be such a colossal idiot never fails to boggle her mind. She smirks in spite of herself. “I love how this is somehow Janet’s fault and not the fault of the adult that was in the room with her.”

“The contest was Uncle Jack’s idea!” Janet pipes up, tugging on Sam’s sleeve.

“Traitor,” Jack mumbles into his folded arms.

“And Uncle Daniel’s idea. And maybe partly Uncle Teal’c’s, too.” Janet purses her lips as if trying to recall exactly what happened.

“Oh, of _course_ it was.” Sam flips her braid over shoulder, turns on her heel, and stalks down the hallway. Jack hears her exasperated voice filter back to them, “ _Damnit_ , Daniel! I _know_ you know better than to encourage that kind of behavior! You know he doesn’t have any self-control…”

Her voice fades to a murmur and he can hear the indistinct sounds of Teal’c and Daniel protesting their innocence. “You would think an Air Force general would get more respect in this house,” he mutters to no one in particular.

Janet regards Jack from the doorway. “Uncle Daniel says Aunt Sam is the general now.”

“Yes. Well. We would _all_ benefit from listening to Uncle Daniel a little less, wouldn’t we?” He sits up and rubs his hands over his face. It seems like his stomach is settling. Maybe he’ll actually make it out of this without puking all over the bathroom.

“Is Aunt Sam mad?”

“She’s pretend mad.” He leans back against the bathtub. “She’ll get over it.”

“What’s a menace, Uncle Jack?”

Jack gives her a sly grin. “It’s a dangerous, unstoppable force.”

“And that’s what I am?” she asks hopefully.

“Under the right conditions, definitely.” He pushes himself to his feet with a groan, bracing himself against the wall while he waits for his equilibrium to catch up with him. “You’re like your Aunt Sam that way.”

“I heard that!” Sam calls from the hallway.

“ _Damn_.” He shakes his head at Janet. “You see what I mean? Nothing gets by her, I swear.”

Sam pokes her head in the door. “Your mom’s here, Janet. And Jack, I think I will let _you_ do the honors of explaining to Cassie what happened this evening.” She fixes narrowed eyes on him, but she can’t hide the mirthful light twinkling out of them. If she’s trying to look disapproving, she’s failing utterly.

“How _very_ considerate of you.” He makes himself sound as annoyed as possible, but as he passes through the doorway he reaches up and brushes his thumb over her cheekbone. She catches his hand in hers and presses a kiss to it.

“You guys are gross.” Janet wrinkles her nose at them and runs down the hall toward her mother. “Mom! Uncle Jack challenged me to a candy cane eating contest and I _won_!”

Jack pulls a face of mock offense. “Did you hear that? She called us gross!”

Sam laughs and pulls him close for a kiss. “Janet’s name-calling is the least of your worries right now. Also? She’s right. You ate twenty-five candy canes; that’s gross.” She pushes him toward the hallway. “You better go make nice with Cassie if we ever want to see Janet again.”

“General…” he clears his throat. “Request backup?”

She grins diabolically. “Chicken.”

“You’re enjoying this.”

“Oh, I most _definitely_ am.” But she takes his hand and threads her fingers through his anyway, and they walk toward the living room together.

Cassie narrows her eyes at him as they enter the room. “Twenty-nine candy canes? Are you _serious?”_

Jack stares back at her nonchalantly. “I only ate twenty-five. If you’re going to accuse me, get the numbers right.”

Sam presses her lips together and closes her eyes. “I believe she’s referring to the number of candy canes that _Janet_ ate,” she explains with studied patience.

He blinks. “I knew that.”

Sam shoots an apologetic look at Cassie.

“And…it wasn’t just his fault,” Daniel jumps in guiltily. “I told Teal’c that I bet Jack couldn’t eat more of the candy canes than Janet, and that’s why Jack…went ahead with the challenge.”

Cassie spins around to look at Teal’c. “Teal’c? Is this true?”

Teal’c inclines his head. “Indeed.”

Cassie sighs. “Janet, what have I told you about participating in these kinds of contests with Uncle Jack?”

“Um…” Janet thinks for a moment. “…Make sure I win?”

“Exactly.” She holds up a hand. “High five, sweetheart. That could _not_ have been easy.”

Janet lights up with pride and high-fives Cassie, while Sam and Daniel burst into laughter and Teal’c chuckles in quiet amusement. Jack just stares at them all, the realization that he has been played by nearly every person in the room leaving him more than a little staggered.

Cassie hugs him. “You’re getting soft, Uncle Jack. When I was a kid I never would have been able to beat you at this game.”

He looks over the top of her head at Sam, who only shoots him one of her dazzling grins that momentarily distracts him from his still-cramping stomach and his complete humiliation.

But then Janet asks, “Aunt Sam, can I stay here tonight? _Please?_ ”

Jack swings his gaze from Sam down to Cassie and she must see the panic in his eyes, because she steps away from him with a grin and replies, “Not tonight. Uncle Jack’s been traumatized enough for one evening.”

“But—”

“Besides,” Sam interrupts smoothly, “I have to put Uncle Jack to bed. His stomach is still upset.”

Jack brightens. “Ooh, promise?”

“ _Ew_ ,” says Cassie. “You guys clearly need to get a room, so we’re going. Get your shoes, Janet.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna head out, too,” Daniel says. “Teal’c goes back to Chulak first thing tomorrow.”

“Oh, you won’t be here for Christmas?” Sam asks, disappointment in her voice.

“I will not, General Carter. I received word today that Rya’c’s wife has given birth to another son.” Teal’c’s smile threatens to engulf his face.

“Oh!” Sam runs to him and embraces him. “Congratulations! Why didn’t you tell us?”

“You did not ask.”

“Ah.” Sam laughs and steps away. “Of course.”

Cassie, Janet, Daniel, and Teal’c take their leave amid smiles, hugs, and promises to return for Christmas Day.

The house is quiet. There are twinkle lights on the tree in the living room and wrapped around the railings of the deck, bathing the room in soft yellow light. Jack stands behind Sam and wraps his arms around her waist, nuzzling her neck and dropping a kiss there. She leans back against him, pulling his arms around her tighter and savoring his closeness. “Feeling better?”

“ _Now_ I am.” He chuckles. “Cassie’s kid is something else.”

“Funny, I’m pretty sure I heard her say the same thing about you as they were leaving.”

“ _Way_ too smart for her own good.”

Sam grins. “Oh, is that another way she’s like me?”

“Yes. And you absolutely _are_ a menace.”

Sam turns in his arms and wraps hers around him. “I didn’t hear you complaining when we defeated the Goa’uld. Or _any_ of the countless times I saved your ass.”

“I figured you thought it was worth saving. You spent enough time staring at it.”

She bursts out laughing and buries her face in his shirt. “ _Damnit_ , I didn’t think I was being obvious!”

He chuckles and rests his head against her hair, and they stay there in the soft, warm light for a long moment. He pulls back when Sam sighs. “What is it, Carter?”

She hesitates, and then shrugs. “I heard from Homeworld today.”

“Oh?” He feels his stomach drop ominously, and it’s not from his overdose of peppermint.

“Yeah. They’re sending the _Hammond_ to Pegasus. Right after Christmas.” She sighs again. “It’s an eight-month mission.”

He takes a breath and holds her a little tighter. “You didn’t get as long of a leave this time.”

“No.”

She looks up at him and he takes her face in his hands. “We’ll be fine. I’ll keep the home lights burning for you.” She breathes out and looks relieved. “Besides,” he continues, “you _know_ you’re dying to get out among the stars again. You start to get twitchy if you’re earthbound for too long.”

“If you were there, then it would be perfect,” she says, a little wistfully.

“Yes, but then who would be here to make sure Daniel doesn’t inadvertently…I don’t know, _die_ again?”

“Good point,” she concedes.

She’s smiling now, that dazzling, sun-defying smile that nearly knocked him off his feet the first time he met her. It’s been twenty years since then and she’s still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen  
.   
“I love you,” he says.

“I know,” she responds, the diabolical gleam returning to her eyes.

“ _God_ , you’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“Interrupting me with ‘I know’ when I was just about to confess my undying love for you? When you were practically on your deathbed? Nope. You’re never living that down.”

“In my defense—”

“Shut up and kiss me, Jack.”

He doesn’t need to be asked twice. When they finally break apart, breathless and a little tousled, Sam giggles. “You still taste like candy canes.”

“About that,” says Jack, kissing along her jawline, “I believe I am _very_ ill and need to be put to bed.”

“You’re incorrigible,” she says, tipping her head back and catching her breath as he makes his way to the sensitive spot beneath her ear.

“And you love it.”

She sighs and wraps her arms around his neck, touching her nose to his. “Lucky for you.”

*

Sam is just drifting off into blissful slumber, her head pillowed on Jack’s shoulder, when she hears his low voice invading the quiet of the room. “ _Carter_. You awake?”

“Mmm,” she murmurs noncommittally.

“You know if we’d been eating cake, the kid _never_ would have won that contest?”

“Jack.”

“I am _so_ gonna kick her ass on Christmas Day. Can we get one of those giant party cakes?”

“ _Jack_.”

“What?”

“ _Sleep_.” She nestles closer and twines a leg around his. The bed is warm and soft, and she is warm and soft, and Christmas is coming. Soon she will be far away in another galaxy; but for now, she is here in his arms and there is peace.

He tightens his arm around her shoulder; presses a kiss to the top of her head.

“Night, Carter.”

“Goodnight, sir.”


End file.
